Is it ok to prompt waving and greeting?

When Tom was younger we 'taught' waving as part of his behavioural programmes. This consisted of us prompting him to wave his arm or to say "hello" and then rewarding him for doing so. I look back and cringe at that kind of teaching. It's so obvious to me now but that is NOTHING like typical waving or greeting. Typically-developing children learn the innate desire to wave and greet before they learn to properly pronounce 'hello' or even to wave their hands properly (we've all seen very young children opening and shutting their hands - an early form of waving).

When a beloved grandparent comes to visit, for example, a smile spreads across the youngster's face and his or her eyes light up, they may even bounce up and down in excitement. That's a lovely greeting. Who needs the words and the wave? They are far less important than knowing that the child is pleased to receive us. When we were teaching Tom to wave via his behavioural programmes we forgot all those vital ingredients.

Later, when we understood what we were doing, we dropped the prompting and the getting him to wave and, for a long time, Tom just didn't wave. Then one Christmas we took Tom to see the Christmas parade in Swansea and he smiled and waved at every float. No-one had asked him to, he just did! Intensive Interaction had brought him to that place developmentally where it happened naturally. Shortly afterwards he began to naturally wave and greet - both 'hello' and 'goodbye' and he has done this pretty much consistently ever since.

Nowadays people expect a wave from Tom because that is what they normally get. Sometimes, however, he is so engrossed in what he's doing that he doesn't hear them shouting 'bye'. "Tom" I say to him, "Grampa is waving to you." Tom looks up, smiles and waves.

When I used to prompt Tom to wave, I was getting him to do something that was utterly meaningless to him. His motivation was a totally unrelated reward (or reinforcer). Nowadays that type of teaching feels like dog-training to me. It was wrong. And it's very different to prompt a child out of a reverie to do something that they would otherwise do and which they find meaningful and enjoyable. Nowadays when I prompt him it feels like a natural parent-child thing to do!