Going it (almost) alone.
Going it (almost) alone
We are a bilingual family living in the South of France. I was born and raised in the UK but moved out to France in 2004 having met my future French husband whilst travelling. We now have two children, Simon (10) and Chloé (5). Simon was born with an as yet undiagnosed disability causing severe learning difficultie
s, motor difficulties and visual impairment. The early years with Simon were incredibly difficult for so many reasons but mainly due to the fact that it was very hard to get sufficient support and therapy.
I quickly turned to resources in English on the internet and in books to try to find out how best to help Simon. Unfortunately, so many of the things that I discovered through my research were methods practised abroad but not written of in French or practised in France. Intensive Interaction was one such example. I was lucky to hear of it from a friend and immediately felt it was right for us and largely corresponded to what my husband and I had been doing with Simon all along. That said, the fact of being able to give a name to what we were instinctively doing made a world of difference. We were no longer “killing time” playing tickles with Simon, we were actually making a vital connection with him each time we participated in his choice of activity. Once I had properly embarked on our II journey (having read the handbook), Simon very quickly responded to our attempts to further connect with him and his progress began to show remarkably quickly.
The next step for me was to share this approach with other parents and carers. I spoke about it in a parents’ association that I attend. I also made an appointment with the team in his special needs school to discuss it with them. Despite interest in what I was doing, I was struck by two reactions:
From the parents: how can you possibly practice this without the support of professionals to guide you?
From the professionals: once you’ve established a connection, where do you go from there? What are the learning objectives? How can the approach contribute to his gaining necessary life skills (fine motor skills, toilet training, dressing and undressing….in other words, all those skills that make up his “life project” as it is referred to in special needs in France)?
I had to admit that I had no answer prepared for these two questions. And so, after much reflection, I would like to attempt to provide some answers here and argue why II is still undoubtedly the best path for us to follow.
Regarding a support network, it is indeed true that our family is alone in its practice of II in France. However, there is a whole virtual community out there (notably Intensive Interaction users and Intensive Interaction for Parents on Facebook). I have also been immensely fortunate in getting to know Amandine Mourière and Sara Moroza-James who have provided much needed support and advice. Amandine and I have also met in the UK with Simon and we are working together to spread the II word in France. Sara provides a distance learning course for parents which I was fortunate to be able to follow and which provided so much valuable thought and advice on my practice. Added to this, I have been able to participate in the II conference in the UK. Obviously, a presence, a community in France would be ideal for those inevitable moments we all have where we lack motivation but I’m hoping that Amandine and I will eventually develop awareness of the approach here so that a community can emerge.
As far as learning and outcomes are concerned, although we are not explicitly working on particular skills, life skills are nonetheless appearing and are doing so, in a very natural fashion. Here are a few examples:
Fine motor skills. From the beginning of our II practice, we played a lot with DVD boxes and a DVD case as he is fascinated by them. Through observing his behaviour during II sessions, I realised the fascination was both with the object itself and with what it does when placed in a DVD player. Our games with the DVD case soon evolved into passing the case between us to opening the case and inserting the DVD into the machine. Through these games, Simon has now learned to undo a zip (around the DVD case), press on a button on a DVD player. These are obviously transferable skills and each time we play the game, I notice he’s gaining strength in his finger and hand muscles.
Communication. II enables learners to learn the fundamentals of communication (turn-taking, eye contact, intentionality). Simon has changed from being capable of babbling sounds to himself to doing so with a communicative goal in mind. His vocabulary, though still limited, has increased tremendously. He is constantly searching to take our hand to encourage us to accompany him somewhere or to engage in an activity with him. He uses his pictograms more frequently and more accurately and our current project is to try using a PODD book during II sessions so as to improve communication even more.
Toilet training. For the past three years, Simon has refused to sit on a toilet. He would even, if made to sit on a toilet, wait for the opportunity to get down before filling his nappy. Recently, we have tried a new approach. When we sense that Simon might be about to fill his nappy, we grab his favourite DVD box and start up our usual game of passing and unzipping the case…..whilst seated on the toilet. Simon has now started to use the toilet, has even laughed when asked if he would like to use it (and then led me into the bathroom) and much enjoys the praise and appreciation shown when he has finished.
Social skills and interaction. It is not just with us, his parents, that he has become more interactive. We have noticed a huge difference in his interaction with all those that know him. And particularly with his sister, Chloé. Chloé has always been a remarkably caring, sensitive and kind sister to him. Although we were convinced that the caring feelings were mutual, Simon showed signs of either fearing Chloé’s sometimes brusque movements and or deep jealousy of her. He manifested this by grabbing her hair every time she came close and pulling it violently. However, Chloé has become an expert at II and chooses to interact with him according to activities that he particularly likes. As a result, Simon has learnt to be far more tender with her. He attempts to hug her, to kiss her. He giggles when she does something he likes and even took her hand for the first time recently (much to her immense delight).
So to answer the question of learning objectives, if all of the above is not another form of ticking boxes, then tell me what is!
I would therefore encourage any other parent in a situation similar to my own to embark on the II journey….the destination is promising and the journey to get there is by far the most enjoyable part.
