I.I. - A way of life

We have been doing II for a long time now. Actually, I don’t think we ‘do’ it any more, in that we rarely have II sessions. It’s just an integral part of the way we relate to H throughout the day: we tune in, listen, observe and respond. We have found this to be the best way to help him cope with the anxiety that has crippled him since puberty hit. So we spend a great deal of time each day ( and I mean a great deal) responding to repeated questions about what is going to happen and when, for example:

H: Seaside soon? bus soon?

Me: Seaside on Saturday, school today

H: School finished, bye, gone

Me: School soon

H: School soon?

Me: Yes, school soon

H: School soon

Because his speech is still mostly rote learnt and repetitive, we have found it calms him to respond using similar phrases, matching the pattern and rhythm of his words.

It’s not all anxiety driven though. Much of our time is also spent playing with words and sounds - H loves to hear an adult repeat what he says and has started to introduce variations himself. This is difficult to reproduce on paper but goes something like this:

H: Very easy. Mummy!

Me: Yes H?

H: Very easy.

Me: Very easy

H: Very oozy

Me: Very oozy

H : ( laughs) Very easy

Me: Very oozy?

H: Very EASY! ( laughs)

Me: Oh! Very easy!

I love this playful side of II and can see so clearly how it’s helping his speech develop - words are fun, look how I can control them!

However the very best part of II for me, is the way it’s helped H make relationships with his peers. His school website now has a photo on its front page of him interacting with a friend. They are smiling at one another, he may be saying something, and the sense of connection is palpable. I often see him initiating contact with both peers and adults at school - again the phrases are rote learnt and the games he is asking for are always the same - but he is learning that language and gesture make relationships and this is the most wonderful thing.

Yesterday was my birthday and so our conversation, and his conversation at school, revolved entirely around cake. Comments in the home-school book had a faintly desperate tone. But they went with it, and so did we - and it was entirely worth it.