How to REALLY help your child

Invisible Umbilical Cord

Your son bangs his head hard on the table and you wince from the pain.

Your daughter is anxious again so you feel stressed.

Your child fails at something.

You are devastated.

It’s still there – the umbilical cord – you might have a hard time finding physical evidence for that statement but it's true. The connection between you and your child is intense. You feel her pain. You live his sadness. You are connected so strongly to her precarious future that you live in fear on her behalf.

But this connection is beautiful, not negative.

You light up when he does. When she hums a tune, makes a new discovery, has a good day, makes progress – your spirit soars and your heart sings. You are like a barometer or a magical mirror, reflecting your child’s current state of well-being.

Here’s what you don’t realise…

Because you love your child, you spend hours researching autism on the internet – too many screen hours, too much time indoors, too much stress. She knows it. Your stress and worry permeate her life. His struggles make you tearful and angry – he lives with your negativity. The connection is two-way - equally strong for both of you. Your child's condition has become your life. Your reaction to that condition has become hers.

You give him the best food there is – you eat junk – he lives with your poor health. She takes supplements, you forget to take yours – she knows you’re not doing that well and worries about you. He drinks pure, filtered water, you guzzle coffee – he sits in your space, feels your bad moods and wants the best for you.

And you know the next part.... Sometimes you relax, smile, laugh, tolerate better, understand more deeply, notice him more, touch him differently. How can it not affect him?

Which person would be top of your child’s list? YOU. Are you going to ignore the person who is most important to your child?

You are deeply connected to one another.